‘Yes I’d like to buy a vowel please’ says the shiny faced contestant to Pat Sajak, who confidentially responds in the affirmative, indicating that ‘yes’ there are 4 letter A’s as the lovely Vanna saunters across the board giving clarity to a puzzle that without vowels was unsolvable… I wish that were more like life… Yes life, I’d like to buy a clue, please reveal the missing pieces that will pull all of this together! Maybe that’s why wheel of fortune is my new favorite game show (granted there is always your dim witted sluggish tongued contestant who can still not figure out the puzzle phrase ‘D_N’T L_T TH_ S_N G_ D_WN _N Y_ _ R _ N_ G_R’ okay on here that doesn’t look so easy to solve… but you get the picture (don’t let the sun go down on your anger).
It’s like when people say that hind sights 20x20 or that the grass is never greener on the other side, those vowels sure make the picture a lot clearer, hindsight now would serve us much better then later and that grass sure does look green….
I feel ashamed at my feelings of discontent. It’s like you’re prepared from childhood for life and life isn’t altogether what you’d thought it would be. I’m not saying I regret any decisions, or that I don’t love all the people in my life, only that I’m left with these thoughts of “that’s it?” It’s the inevitable conclusion to everything I suppose. You’re dying to try a new restaurant and once you have, the novelty wears off. That sweater at Bloomingdales is the MUST have of the season, and now it lays quite alone in the bottom drawer. The vacation wasn’t quite as wonderful, the nap wasn’t quite long enough. Maybe I’m just a dissatisfied sort of person, designed with living the mindset of one who’s only 95% satisfied.
V, my sister would say this is where we must CHOOSE joy! Especially us Christians who are supposed to live in the newness of God’s promise; there is no newness today. Sometimes choosing joy is exhausting! There’s always a goal, always another class, always something to attain. I feel uncomfortable in my own skin, always waiting, always watching… but for what? GOD, THROW ME A VOWEL!
LOL, maybe it’s just this pregnancy making me so despondent, thoughtful and reflective. There’s got to be a silver lining somewhere right?
Here’s hoping,
Nichole
Congratulations! I didn't know you were pregnant!
ReplyDeleteI think God wants us to live in the present. We worry too much about the future. The "That's it" feeling or thinking that there should be "more". Someone once told me that we are programed to be expecting something more, something else, something greater and that greater thing is eternity in heaven.
Totally know why you mean buy "Can I buy a clue?"
For me, I think I build up events to be more than they are... and then of course I'm disappointed. As sad as it is I have to try and ignore the fact that birthdays and special events are coming up so I don't think too much about them. Living in the present certainly helps, but for a person like me that analyzes EVERYTHING and lets my mind wander this is harder said than done.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure if we lived closer, we wouldn't have this problem because we'd be having such a good time 24-7 that other people would continually be jealous ;) Seriously, OK & VA should be much closer to each other than they are.