God, I'm having and astronomically bad day and I NEED to hear from you right NOW... So I have decided to sit here until you speak....
Okay maybe we're on different frequencies lord... try channel 3....
You're still not coming through how about 15?
hmmm. Must be on your end...
Doesn't it feel that way sometimes? If only we could tune in to whatever channel God is waiting for us on. Waiting for us because even though I don't feel like he's speaking... the truth is I probably don't have the ears to hear. I've been reading Daniel... and what really struck me today is that Daniel wasn't some sort of super God lover, extra special in some way... he just prayed a lot and God knew his voice. Daniel 6:10 says that Daniel prayed 3 times a day... that he went and prayed just as he'd always done before. That's devotion, that's going to the Lord because we should spend time with him, not just when we're having astronomically bad days... Maybe that is God speaking to me, maybe he's telling me to keep talking to him and not just in the bad times. Maybe he will shut the lions mouth for me even though I just asked him to now when the teeth are at my throat...
God... it sure would be easier if you could just tell me what channel you are on!
The musings of a mother, wife and traveller of life
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Found Faithful
I want to be found Faithful
Last week Luca was sick, 104+ fever, listless, pitiful cries… I know that babies get much higher fevers; but at that moment, with my child I was worried sick that God who delivered him safely to me would take him away. I said ‘Lord, this would be a deal breaker’… ha-ha as if I can bargain with the Almighty? I was torn, crying out to God to heal him, shouting at God in anger and frustration when Luca only seemed to get worse and finally submitting to his will (on a side note Luca did get better )…It reminded me of the Beth Moore bible study I did with my girlfriends this summer If BLANK Then BLANK. God reminded me to go there.
If BLANK then BLANK….
I went through the whole procession of ‘If, Thens’ of Luca being gone. It came down to God still being God, still loving, still waiting for me with open arms. It was a peaceful place to land. If he should take away everything (which He has given me any way) Then I will get up from the place I’ve fallen and follow him (Job 13:15 ‘though he slay me, yet will I trust him’). Not saying I understand it or like it… but I know God desires our good and I have to trust in that.
Justin Rizzo wrote a song that says “I want to be found faithful, I want to be found steady, I want to be found faithful until the end”. What powerful words don’t you think? How many of us have the courage to be faithful to anything but that which gives us pleasure? I am such an inconstant creature, seized by fervor for something one moment and tossing it aside like a child throwing a toy aside for something new. Part of that is my nature and has been a blessing. It gives me the extra bit of gumption I need to start new things, embrace new projects… boldness. The other part is awful; I wish I could say I finished something meaningful. So that’s my major shortcoming. I pray God make me faithful, that he would take hold of my heart in such a powerful way as to transform it forever… IF you test me Lord THEN I want to be found faithful until the end.
Last week Luca was sick, 104+ fever, listless, pitiful cries… I know that babies get much higher fevers; but at that moment, with my child I was worried sick that God who delivered him safely to me would take him away. I said ‘Lord, this would be a deal breaker’… ha-ha as if I can bargain with the Almighty? I was torn, crying out to God to heal him, shouting at God in anger and frustration when Luca only seemed to get worse and finally submitting to his will (on a side note Luca did get better )…It reminded me of the Beth Moore bible study I did with my girlfriends this summer If BLANK Then BLANK. God reminded me to go there.
If BLANK then BLANK….
I went through the whole procession of ‘If, Thens’ of Luca being gone. It came down to God still being God, still loving, still waiting for me with open arms. It was a peaceful place to land. If he should take away everything (which He has given me any way) Then I will get up from the place I’ve fallen and follow him (Job 13:15 ‘though he slay me, yet will I trust him’). Not saying I understand it or like it… but I know God desires our good and I have to trust in that.
Justin Rizzo wrote a song that says “I want to be found faithful, I want to be found steady, I want to be found faithful until the end”. What powerful words don’t you think? How many of us have the courage to be faithful to anything but that which gives us pleasure? I am such an inconstant creature, seized by fervor for something one moment and tossing it aside like a child throwing a toy aside for something new. Part of that is my nature and has been a blessing. It gives me the extra bit of gumption I need to start new things, embrace new projects… boldness. The other part is awful; I wish I could say I finished something meaningful. So that’s my major shortcoming. I pray God make me faithful, that he would take hold of my heart in such a powerful way as to transform it forever… IF you test me Lord THEN I want to be found faithful until the end.
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