RBF

Several years ago my sister and I were at a youth group event when we noticed a girl who kept scowling at us. She kept staring and we grew increasingly aggravated. We went back and forth with 'What do you think her problem is?' and believed that she hated us for no apparent reason (yes her scowl was THAT fierce). I remember getting angry that anyone would would be so openly hostile and tried my best to send back aloof, haughty faces of my own... 15 minutes after the message ended she came up to us gushing about how beautiful she thought we were and wondering if we were twins, yada, yada, yada... It turns out she was really one of the nicest people I'd ever met. We had totally read that situation wrong. How could we have misjudged her so much!? I recall my sister and I telling this girl how we thought she was scowling at us and her laughing it off as it 'just being her face'. For a long time after that happened we continued to worry over how badly we'd read the situation.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago when my girlfriend was over for a play date. Somehow we got on the topic of offendedness (real or imagined) and the nature of women friendships. She made a comment that took me back to that experience as a teenage girl and to be honest 1,000 similar situations since then. 'Some people just have RBF' she said. I stared at her blankly... RBF?! She laughed and explained the acronym; Resting B**** Face. A face that looks intimidating or unapproachable at rest. My mind reeled. I was pretty sure half of the people I'd ever struggled being friends with had suffered from RBF or maybe I do?

Over the weeks that followed I kept thinking on the mystery of RBF. What it meant for my female relationships and what it looked like in the church. How many times had I heard that so-and-so didn't like Suzie Q... Often times it boiled down to RBF. All the 'she didn't seem's and the 'I could just tell she was mad's came to a head and I realized that just like the 15 year old me... We've probably all got it wrong. We're so busy being worried about what people think, how they are reacting or just thinking they have ill will toward us that we avoid friendships altogether. Just the other day I was able to use this new knowledge to reassure a friend someone wasn't intentionally trying to hurt them (someone with alleged RBF). That is just it. 99.9% of us aren't trying to hurt each other. If we choose to believe people have good will towards us, then we can put all these borrowed offenses aside. Or we could all try smiling more (haha we can't really change a face though).

Let's face it; it IS kind of crazy that we are offended by an imagined offense. We have to take ownership where we allow our hearts to get hurt, where we assume someone is angry, or uninterested in us... Quit fearing in man and believe the best of each other. These relationship snares come from fearing the wrong thing. Let us put our hope in the Lord. In Him our hearts are kept safe!

<3

Nikki

ps - If I have RBF I promise I am not mad at, avoiding or scheming against you. :P

#FitMomNik

I've always wanted to get in shape. I mean like GREAT shape (think Bikini pro) I decided this is my year. I will be 30 in February, I have 2 beautiful kids and a super supportive husband... It's time. The summer of 2013 I was in the best shape of my life, I was strong and working on my speed (had a 7 min mile!)

(thanks to Insanity, running like crazy and being a nursing mom). Then it got cold and I threw out my back... Slowly I packed back on 25 lbs and just started to FEEL it. Tired, cranky the works. When I look in the mirror I don't hate what I see but I don't FEEL good either. This time I want it to be a life change. I want to feel better, not just look better. I joined American Family Fitness and JUST got someone to help me with my nutrition and with a work out schedule. I'm really excited about it and decided I will blog my journey- 1) for accountability and 2) so I can see my progress. Here is my day 1 pic

(eeeek scary)... It can only get better right!? This time around I'm really going to focus on lifting and gaining muscle so I dont' have to spend hours doing cardio... Oh and did I mention I'm throwing away my scale!? This isn't about a number. It's just about feeling good. I'll be posting workout motivation and my journey on instagram too! I made a new account that way people who don't want/need to see me in swimsuits don't have to! instagram handle: FitMomNik!!! #phil413 Can't wait to see my progress!! xo- Nikki

My husband is a blogger...

This is blowing my mind; my husband Scott is blogging. You have to understand that he is a man of VERY few words. I'm kind of excited... it's like a window to his secret thoughts... go figure so far it's about food... any ways I'm going to have to keep up my blog too so he doesn't put me to shame! Check out his latest blog here ... Oy Vey!

House Hunt Over!

So we bought a house! The whole process has been stressful and fraught with some lost homes and spilt tears (by me); but in the end I think we are landing where we are supposed to be... God has truly opened many doors and made it possible (we’re talking several miracles in which God has led friends and family to give us money for a down payment; we have almost all of our 3.5% as a gift from God!). I am so grateful to the folks who allowed God to use them to bless us in this way. It would not have been possible without you. We pray God would bless your lives abundantly!!!
So the dilemma was in the location. We can’t afford the area we are currently in (not even to rent) now that my career as a full time mommy is about to commence (Friday is my last day of work!). The few homes we could find in neighboring counties were quick to leave the market and/or in unsavory neighborhoods. So we decided to broaden our search area. Our search has landed us in Fredericksburg VA (which surprisingly is considered part of northern Virginia!). Scott’s commute is going to be a bit of a drag (50 miles/ although he only works 4, 10 hour days a week and can possibly telecommute another day!!!). I’m not letting myself sweat the details right now we have until June or July while the house is being built to figure out what moving south means in the greater scheme of our lives!
Any ways here’s our house! I’ll keep everyone updated on the progress!


our lot:



















Pictures of the model:
The Rec Room-



















The kitchen/ morning room-

The livin rooom-
:

The Master Bathroom-

Laundry room upstairs!!!!! YEAH!!
























Floor Plans-

So that's it for now! I'm excited to get going with this phase of our lives! We'll keep you posted with building progress!!!

I miss my old body

I know pregnancy is supposed to be "beautiful", I know I'm supposed to enjoy this time, but I seriously can NOT weight... I mean wait to get this weight off. No matter what I do I gain a million pounds. I don't even have preeclampsia this time and I'm still up 70 lbs. I seriously dare the scale to move up another notch because I WILL go postal and throw it out the window! If i eat one more fat free yogurt or one more salad for lunch I'm going to barf!

this is me last fall... I almost hate the old me!






here's me now at 36 weeks:


PLEASE GOD LET ME GET MY BODY BACK! lol

Okay I'm done complaining (for now).

In other news I am in total nesting phase. I want to clean, gather and store! we are looking for a house too and I'm anxious to know where we are going to live! Very excited to buy though! I'll let you know more about that as it becomes more "official" (plus the process is excruciatingly painful at times)...

SO hopefully 3-4 more weeks and i can hit the treadmills! Oh and of course meet my new darling little one!

Weight gain- ONE MILLION pounds
Outlook: good, generally happier than I have been so that's good...

Send me love, positive skinny vibes and T&P's for a great delivery!!

YAY! I win! + Tagged

So a friend and fellow blogger completely succeeded in drawing me out of my present pregnancy blues! I won one of the give always on her blog! Delicious, yummy chocolate covered strawberries

(which i had to fight dear husband for). You should totally follow her blog, not just because she had fun give a ways, but because she's completely awesome and has a lot of wisdom about life to share!!! So I've decided to participate in the "tagged" portion of her blog as well... because chocolate covered strawberries just put me in the mood to be fun and forget that I’m hungry, bloated and enormously pregnant!

Here are the RULES:

1.) You must post the rules
2.) Post eleven fun facts about yourself on the blog post
3.) Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post, and then create eleven new questions to ask the people you've tagged
4.) Tag eleven people and link them on your post
5.) Let them know you've tagged them!

About MEEE–
(I totally used a lot of Laurens questions for me as my about me, because I have preggo brain and zero inclination to be creative right now so:

1) If I could be any Disney princess it would be Jasmine 1) because she's one of few ethnic ones I could kind of get away with looking like and 2) i love everything about the fictional kingdom of Agrabah, the tajmajal-esque buildings the exotic animals and plants... if you have to be a Disney princess, might as well be one there!


2) I love celebrating my Birthday, not any one in particular just all of them, I feel so blessed that God would give me another year on this earth! I love celebrating my Birthday because I always get to be with family -they always make me yellow cake with chocolate icing… really what’s better than that!!!

3) I’ve always wanted a French Bull dog. Scott promises he’ll gift me one for Christmas one year… If we ever did get one (all white) we would Name him after Napolean Bonaparte… (get it a small french dog/small french men?)

4) My Favorite Actress is Kierra Knightly, Mostly because she makes Periods pieces.



5) If I could redo college I would get my teaching certificate. You can’t do anything with Psychology without a doctorate and I have to admit holiday, spring, winter and summer breaks sound AMAZING.

6) If I could go anywhere RIGHT now (If I wasn’t pregnant) I would go to Bora Bora, I love looking at pictures of the pristine blue water and cute bungalows! My sister would probably do something much nobler like go to Zambia and care for orphans… and then I would want to do that too because it seems so much more Christ like thing to do… but Bora Bora if I’m honest.

7) I wish I had invented something world changing like the IPHONE or IPAD, but I’ll def settle for creating some mini me people (Luca and Eliana)

8) I don’t have a favorite color per say, I look good in purple and royal blue, but I love sunny colors like orange, red and yellow!

9) I love music, I spend lots of time just listening to new music , writing new lyrics and strumming my guitar.

10) I want to be domestic. I try cooking, sewing and baking… most of the time I fail but hey it’s a work in progress.

11) I’m a friend for life type of girl, once you are in my circle you are never out. I married my first serious boyfriend, I still best friends with my high school BFF and I resist change… sometimes it’s good… sometimes bad.
That was fuuuun!

NOW
My Questions for you!


1. You’re going to a red carpet event; do you go for the classic Little Black Dress or Ball Gown?
2. Where would you rather live: House in the Mountains, Beach or life on the plains?
3. If you could’ve been born in a different time period what would it be and why?
4. If you didn’t have any obligations or if you weren’t limited by money in any way what would you be doing RIGHT now.
5. Who’s your favorite Author?
6. Do you love or Hate Lord of the rings?
7. Ballet flats or 6” heals?
8. Chinese food or Pizza?
9. When/how was your first kiss?
10. What makes you sad?
11. Do you drive the speed limit, 5 miles over or think speed limits should be speed suggestions?
Can’t wait to see what you all write! Have a great weekend!!

xoxox

Since my tagging isn't working any one who wants to participate just needs to post their answers on my blog! LOL Let me know if you play so I can read your 11 interesting facts about you!

I. am. Insecure. - not staying in the dark.

Okay, so I know outward beauty is not supposed to be important, but as the scale continues to creep up I am beginning to lose sight of that; losing sight of the beauty that there is in carrying new life. All I can think about is going on a diet, running a marathon, starting up P90x again. It is really becoming an idol in my life. I wonder if Eve had the kind of body images issues so many of us seem to have today... She probably never looked in a mirror/or at her reflection. Heck she was the current day standard, no one around to compare herself to... Yet I have a sneaking suspicion that she thought there must've been flaws, I mean once sin was introduced she ran fast to cover up right!?
So where does that leave me? How with an amazing husband (who validates me and tells me I'm beautiful at every turn), a sweet little family who is growing in size and in love can I stare at my reflection with something that is frighteningly similar to loathing!? I'm not sure. God continues to humble me and drive me to my knees... Even with something as silly as vanity. Why am I telling you all this? Well I’ve been challenged lately that the enemy can only attack what I leave in the dark…so I want to bring this darkness to light. I don't want to be held captive by a number on the scale, the size on my clothing tags or the image reflecting back at me. I don't want to be self-absorbed, self-conscience and so centered on myself. It's ugly. It's not right and it really stops me from being in the center of God's will (whatever that might be at a given moment).
Does that mean I won't work out when the time comes up... no. I just don't want to be a slave to a standard I can't reach...My prayer this week is that God would continue in His mercy to reveal these dark places… that I would be quick to bring darkness to light, that I might have a heart like His.
Pray for me folks! I'll continue to pray for all of us to be conformed not to this world but to image of Christ Jesus. We are “image bearers” after all. So we are Beautiful.

Verse for me today: Psalm 119 9-11
9 How can a young person stay on the path of purity?
By living according to your word.
10 I seek you with all my heart;
do not let me stray from your commands.
11 I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you.